Thursday, November 17, 2011

SUGAR COATING: Because You Can't Handle the Truth

This evening I was over at  I was so intrigued with this article that I wanted to share it on my blog.  I find myself here.  Do I really want to tell the person the complete truth and face hurting them and perhaps ending a friendship?  Or do I only go so far?  What do I do or do you do in moments like this?  I hope that my friends would know that they could tell me the truth without fear of damaging our friendship, but is that really the truth?  I don't know, I hope so.
Come on, you know we all do it and for reasons I’ll get into below, we feel we must! It’s commonplace; it’s acceptable; and I venture to say that most of the time, people know we’re doing it and they are okay with it! *shaking my head*
  • Why is it that being truthful gets put in the same bucket as being offensive or rude (not withstanding the WAY the truth is delivered)???
  • How often do we sugar coat the truth to our own selves???
  • What do you think the world would be like if people were bred to be honest, mature, and courageous and actually wanted the truth????
  • Why are people who are blunt and say what they feel are regarded as jerks??? (I know, sometimes they really are!)
  • Have we all just gone soft???
  • Have you ever asked a question and someone gave you an honest answer but you didn’t like it and got mad???

Sugar coating – because people can’t handle the truth!

sugar coating: because you can't handle the truth 

Why We Have to Sugar Coat Things

The first thing that comes to my mind is because we’ve been bred to believe that we shouldn’t hurt anybody’s feelings.
Me: So lying is better Ma?
Ma: Yes, baby. If you tell her/him the truth, they will cry.
Me: Oh, so they’re punks.
Ma: Weeelllll, we’ll call them “sensitive“…
Okay, so maybe the conversation didn’t go exactly like that but that’s what I learned from a similar convo. What about you? Doesn’t this sound like what you grew up with? What parents, teachers, and others have led you to believe?
Well, as I get older, most of the time, I end up not saying anything if I can’t find something positive/helpful to say (another childhood lesson I”m sure most of us learned). Yes, I’d rather bite my tongue than sugar coat these days.  I find picking my battles with certain people, keeping my thoughts to myself, and maintaining relationships are much more satisfying than setting people off because, though they asked for it, they didn’t really want to hear the truth. :-)
So we sugar coat because:
  • we want to spare others’ feelings
  • fear of judgement
  • to get what we want/manipulate
  • oh and how dare we tell the honest-to-goodness truth to those we love and care about!

Isn’t It Better to Learn from the Truth?

I don’t know about you but I’d rather learn and grow from the truth than to think everything’s gravy. Think about it: if you try to “sweeten up/beat around the bush/make light of” the truth, it may not be in my best interest. I think it’s better that all of us want the truth and, in turn, give it back to others.
Now, this doesn’t mean that we go around doing it with the intent to hurt people. That’s not what I’m saying. We’re adults here, supposedly, so you know what I mean. 

Over to you…

Soooo, would you rather someone sugar coat things to you…or would you want him/her to be straight up, even if your ego will be crushed??? Also, think about the last time you sugar coated something….what was the reason? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...